For the past few weeks I have been flooded with feelings of anxiety. I can't sleep, cannot focus for too long, I feel like doing nothing but overwhelmed by everything. I felt paralyzed. For a while I felt uncertain why I am so anxious. I have a lot of good in my life; I am very happy…what could be going on?

After a lot of journaling, crying, and some deep self-inquiry I have to only one conclusion. My paralyzing anxiety steams from fear. Fear of what you might ask? In short, EVERYTHING! I find myself constant worried if things will work out, what are the next steps, if I am doing and making the right choices, am I surrounding myself with the right people? The list could go on and on! It seems that something all my feelings come back to...Trusting myself. My deepest fears, all stem from lack of self-trust. How could I feel this way? I've been me my whole life, how can I not trust myself?

It may sound funny however it is something I am not alone in feeling. I believe that a lot of us run around doubting ourselves and not owning what our gut feels it already knows. We are so accustom to worrying about the future that we do let things just happen. We create stories and fill our minds up to rationalize our feelings about things that haven’t happened yet or, even better, may never happen! I laugh at this because it feels like “wow I should know better”, yet I get caught up in this cycle of anxiety. The other day I finally had enough! I was tired of making myself feel bad FOR NO REASON! So I took a long, hard look in the mirror and said: “Let me remove myself from this type of pattern and check in with my energy before I attract more.”

Once I checked in I tried to identify why it was so hard for me to just trust. A lot as to do with that past few years that I denied my intuition (gut-feeling) constantly, I made mistakes, and inevitably got hurt. When faced with situations nowadays I become wary. I start thinking what if my intuition doesn’t work anymore, what if I make more and bigger mistakes? This check in made me realize that the reason I am suck in this cycle of self-doubt and mistrust is because I have yet to forgive myself for the years before. To build this practice of self-trust we must first let go of the past. We have to forgive ourselves for not listening to our intuition, we have to reflect on what was learned from the mistakes, simply put we have to let go, create a new narrative.

It is not until we forgive and let go that we can step into our power and start to trust. When we forgive ourselves we release the guilt and the weight of making mistakes. We see ourselves as humans with imperfections and allow ourselves to start anew

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Since I decided to start the forgiveness process I realized those mistakes led me to where I am today and it’s a very good place to be. I fought for so long and the whole time the universe had my back, it still does. Not trusting and having anxiety is just stealing my joy in the present moment. So while I am forgiving myself for not trusting in the past, I step into the now and trust the future because it is all going to end the way it is meant to.

Let go and Trust.

With love & light,

Bliss Yogi