After spending the past few months uninspired and shocked by the state of our current reality, I am finally starting to feel rejuvenated and renewed. This past Friday I had the wonderful opportunity to meet and talk with some exhilarating young women. All the women in the zoom meeting were like me, mid-20s trying to get comfortable in the "new normal" while in the mist of trying to regularly have a work, relationships, and life balance. We all came together for a self love night thinking we'd polish our nails while having casual conversation about current events. We started our zoom call with giggling introductions followed by a journaling activity and mediation led by me. What was supposed to be a fun lighthearted night turned into one with so much depth. We all shared our struggles with self-love and how it shows up in different aspects of our lives. We really highlighted how self love is a practice like so many other things. It is something we have to constantly keep doing and working at. As wild as it may seem, often the relationship we have with ourselves is the one we need to work on the most.

This got me thinking. What tools or thought processes help us to achieve a better feeling and relationship with ourselves? After much contemplation and trial and error with my own self love journey, I have come up with a list of 10 tips to deepen our self love practice.

10 Self Love Tips:

1. Practice gratitude.

Being grateful for all you have and all you are is a one way ticket to feeling all types of love! It also really helps us change our perceptive from never enough to more than enough.

2. Share who you really are.

Share your story from the heart. Every human being on this earth has experienced trauma and disappointment at one point in their lives. The power of sharing our struggle is the first step to letting it go and help others in the process.

3. Set boundaries.

We are SO used to thinking that the more we say yes, the more we have other’s approval, and the more we are liked by others we'll finally love ourselves like others love us. However the reality is that you are the only one who knows your own limits, the limits of what you can give, and the limits of what you can take. When we love ourselves truly and fully we can set boundaries so we can continue to love ourselves and give love to others from the overflow. (We can't give from an empty cup!!!)

4. Be vulnerable.

Allow yourself to be seen, heard, and take up space! It is also okay to ask for help.

5. Observe.

Realizing that we are not our emotions and our behavior is so vitally important! Taking time to step back from our emotions and remember they are only a part of who we are, not completely. Emotions are temporary states that can be triggered by external or internal causes. Either way, observing the temporary emotions and then letting them go is liberating for our heart.

6. Forgiveness

This doesn’t come easy to everyone. It is very easy for us to forgive a good friend or someone who is nice to us most of the time, but what about forgiving someone who has hurt us deeply, left us into pieces? it is then forgiveness doesn’t come so naturally. It is at these times when we have to understand that to heal and give the love back to ourselves we need to forgive. Forgiving is not to say that person or behavior is okay or justified, but to allow yourself freedom from the hurt to only settle into love.

7. Speak to yourself as you would speak to your best friend, your partner, your child. 

This is extremely powerful! It can change your perception of yourself immediately.

8. Let go of society's expectations.

Society easily controls a lot of aspects of our lives. We are programmed since birth to reject our imperfections, our age, our body, our perceptions, and are constantly feed the “I am not enough” seed of thought. When we decide to unlearn all those thought processes we find this new freedom and began to love, accept, and cherish of our whole self.

9. Experience joy in alignment with your true self. 

We are co-creators of our own reality with the Universe. The Universe wants us happy and gives us exactly what we want; projecting outside what we create inside of us.

10. Be authentic to yourself.

Many times we find ourselves in situations where we are so busy looking for significance that we hide behind a mask. Lifting that mask is the biggest gift we can give ourselves. It’s like saying, “This is me and I am proud of myself and I love myself regardless of what other people think.”

***Remember self love is a practice and it is okay to struggle with some of the tips. I hope you know that you are loved and so beautifully whole just as you are.***

xo,

Mel